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Busy-Ness does not equal Productive

World Peace Cafe
I have been asked this question at various times in my life. "What do you do all day long? Don't you get bored?" The first time it was after I arrived in the United States. Sans drivers license, sans a job. Good friends often asked me this question. They thought they were being sympathetic, maybe? In their minds, it must have been such a drag. Staying home all day long, watching TV, surfing the Internet, learning to cook, cleaning the house... and so on. These days I get asked this question since I work two days a week. Again the sympathetic look, the regretful tone.

I wonder how they'd react if I really told them about how I ENJOYED those days and how much I ENJOY these days.

It has become a notion (is it our generation?) to equate being busy with being productive and useful. Unless you are the kind who rushes in after a long day of work, tackles a kid (or two), dirty dishes, laundry and a hungry husband, works again late into the night, and has this perpetual "I am so busy" attitude, you are not regarded as being an efficient person. Or productive. Or making the best use of your abilities and time. Being busy and doing multiple projects is looked at as some kind of a badge of honor.

I wonder where this idea came from.

What's the lure of being perpetually busy and rushed? What's wrong with having a leisurely outlook to life and work? I, for one, regard these days of leisure and writing as far more productive than the 12-hour days I clocked in working in the IT industry. I didn't feel useful or productive or particularly accomplished then. (If you do, then all power to you. I am only stating my experience here.) These days, my idea of being productive is writing up a good post (or two), reading something interesting, cooking a new dish, taking pictures, being open to exploration and learning. I am not juggling a million commitments or handling a major cross-continental crisis at work - so what? I feel fulfilled, happy, contented.

My darling Mom worked as a school teacher for a large part of her life. She is retired now. I never saw her as rushed or overworked earlier, nor does she appear so now. Even when she was working full-time, raising the two of us (with much help from a doting husband and Dad, of course) and running the home, she found time to connect to people, enjoy her cup of tea with the newspapers, watch TV, read books, go to the movies, cook delicious food. Not once did she appear terribly busy, never did she seem like she was bored. Now that she's retired, she gets asked a lot "Aren't you bored?" Whenever she and Dad visit me (or my sister), she gets asked "Aren't you bored?"

Her answer is always "No, I never get bored." She simply finds her own rhythm, regardless of place and circumstance. She enjoys her work, so also her leisure.

A perfect recipe for a happy, fulfilled and productive existence.

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]gaia_child wrote:
Feb. 2nd, 2012 08:26 pm (UTC)
I enjoy your recent reflective entries A LOT!

I share your easy-going and relaxed attitude towards life. Similarly, I was never bored with myself: I wrote letters, read books, went for walks, took photos etc.

Sometimes I lacked adrenaline in my life, though. I felt nothing interesting was happening, I wanted travel, adventure, fireworks...LOL
[info]locks wrote:
Feb. 3rd, 2012 06:51 pm (UTC)
Fireworks!
Yeah, I would have liked fireworks too but now I enjoy the quiet... !
[info]suddenlynita wrote:
Feb. 3rd, 2012 10:40 pm (UTC)
I completely agree with you on this! Only people who dont know what to do with their time can possibly get bored.
[info]deelight wrote:
Feb. 4th, 2012 09:49 am (UTC)
So true Locks, I get asked often too, now that Im not working. I think women have too many perceptions to deal with. If they're not working, they are asked how they spend their time and if they are working, they are asked, how they balance both and aren't they giving up one for the other...Sometimes living in quiet is tougher. Most people don't get that.
[info]iyer_the_gr8 wrote:
Feb. 4th, 2012 01:40 pm (UTC)
I think there is an inherent hope in that question that maybe you are bored. Also the jealousy that how can someone be so much relaxed when their lives aren't so.
[info]locks wrote:
Feb. 5th, 2012 03:24 pm (UTC)
Hehe.
Maybe you know who I am talking about as well!
[info]afoo wrote:
Feb. 6th, 2012 01:03 pm (UTC)
This totally resonates with me. I have always enjoyed the slow fuller life.

I suppose you have to be really comfortable with yourself to able to do this. A lot of people I suspect are either afraid of being alone with their own thoughts and want to escape or have emptied their lives of all orginal thinking and desperately seek something to fill the vaccum.

Dont mean to offend anyone... Just my view.
[info]locks wrote:
Feb. 7th, 2012 03:38 pm (UTC)
You said it.
There is a lot of truth in what you said.
[info]aryaputhra wrote:
Feb. 7th, 2012 07:28 am (UTC)
It is far better to have time to spare with those whom you love and care for than to be a corporate slave. Unfortunately we are conditioned to believe that working for some corporate, increasing their bottom-line, burgeoning their already fat-wallets is far more important than taking care of your own kids.
[info]locks wrote:
Feb. 7th, 2012 03:38 pm (UTC)
Sad state of affairs.
[info]prashanthchengi wrote:
Feb. 7th, 2012 05:01 pm (UTC)
I was watching this movie 'Just Like Heaven' in which a guy tells his friend "You need to stop swimming in your own mind, that is a dangerous neighboorhood that you should not go into alone!".
My friends don't seem to agree, but it's relative. Staying alone and being at peace with it is something that comes more naturally to some while it's unthinkable for many. For me, leisure triggers feelings of guilt!! I kid not! I think about the many things that needed to get done and my reverie ends right there! I've been trying over the past couple of weeks (weekends, really) to really try and switch off: to find that inner peace.

Your friend iyer_the_gr8 offers a very valid point: maybe they are plain jealous. Or they could be genuinely stupefied that somebody can do something which they cannot. My dad can manage to sleep when he chooses to, within seconds, no matter where he is! On a moving bus, sitting on an uncomfortable bench in a railway/bus station, just about anywhere! Even my mom envies him as she can barely catch a wink of sleep when she's not at home! As long as you are happy, nothing else matters now, does it? :)
(Anonymous) wrote:
Feb. 7th, 2012 08:59 pm (UTC)
LOVED the read Lakshmi!!! You're absolutely right and I too wonder where that notion comes from.

Btw, just started reading your blog. Seems really good!! :-)

Love,
Baljinder
[info]locks wrote:
Feb. 11th, 2012 02:52 am (UTC)
Thanks!
Hope H and you are doing well... :)
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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